The parting point Swindoll made was this: “the temptation to underestimate the importance of cultivating your family’s spiritual appetite.”

Fathers, we need step up and play the man for our families.  Swindoll in his own words:

“In our macho society it’s always the woman’s job to answer the religious questions.  ‘Go talk to your mom, son, she’s the one big on church!’ It’s refreshing to find a man who has a love for God that’s genuine, who has a walk with God that’s unique, who has a pursuit of holiness that’s passionate.  It’s wonderful to be around men like that. And I’ll tell you who loves it, their wives, their children…

Now wait a minute, I’m not talking about overkill, I’m not talking about some fanatical father who turns kids off with too much religious verbage.  You know how I can tell when that’s happened?  The family’s stopped having fun.  If things are still enjoyable, if the things of the Lord are still delectable, I know we got a couple of parents who are in balance.  But if you’ve got a fanatical father, you’ve got kids that are in rebellion and on their way to addiction.  They may know you love Jesus but their learning to hate Him because He’s all you ever talk about. That’s the other problem.  That’s not spiritual nourishment, that’s faith gone to seed.

Fathers, the goal is not hypocrisy.  It is authentic manhood.  Real Christianity.”

Again, I recommend the message, hunt it down and listen and hear and do, but if nothing else meditate on God’s Words to we fathers and may we shape our families by walking in the Spirit and the Scriptures.

Point number 4 was: the Temptation to desire to be perfect and demand the same from my family.

This is me to a tee.  Here are Swindoll’s words on this point:

“Do you expect the absolute best of yourself at all times?  Do you sometimes put off a project because you don’t have time to do it perfectly?  Do you get frustrated with others because they don’t get your desire to get things done right?  Are you hard on yourself when you make a mistake?  Are you doubly hard on yourself when you make the same mistake twice?  Are you disappointed in others because of the lack of quality in their work?  Is the idea of being average distasteful to you?  Do you often think on finishing something that you could have done it better?

Perfectionists tend towards extremes.  It’s either/or: Either something is outstanding or it’s totally worthless.  There’s no middle ground.  Perfectionists tend to minimize successes and maximize failures.  Depressed because we’re not tops of the year…

It’s always something more.  We tend to alienate those we love by our perfectionistic requirements.  You give your kids room to fail.  You give your wife room to fail.  Can you see good even when there are flaws?  Does satisfaction depend on ten out of ten?

I was looking at the baseball hall of fame the other day and I didn’t see many four-hundred hitters.  Many were in the three hundreds…that’s three hits out of ten!  Do you let your kids three hits out of ten?  Do praise them with four hits?  Or must it be eight? Preferably nine?  Ideally son, like my father taught me, ten out of ten!
Fathers, I understand but I must warn you.  You’re slipping off the banks if your perfectionism is building a wall between you and your children.  Guard against the temptation of wanting them perfect. Now, quickly let me add that you want them righteous, godly, but even the godly will not bat a thousand.”

1. The temptation to substitute what I purchase for my family for my personal presence with my family.

“This is the struggle of toys vs. time”, but for your children there’s no competition between them, they want Dad.  When son is swinging at the plate, dad better be in the stands smiling, shouting, and waving.

2. The temptation to save our best for the workplace and leave the leftovers for home.

We fathers should put our best “effort, energy, and emotion” into what matters most, our wives and children.  “Children long for the presence of dad, the strength of masculinity, the fun, the play, the joy of being together.”

3. The temptation to deliver lectures rather than earning the right to be respected by listening and learning.

“Verbal ability is absolutely key to sound relationships.  Home is not an extension of the office: the wife and children are not employees.  Respect must be earned the hardway, through the experience of close relationship.  See James 1:19.”  Don’t tell me you’ve never been here before, this hits home.  Better start today listening and learning.

4. The temptation to desire perfection and demand the same from your family.

This point was especially powerful and one that I face often.  I will post more on this later.

5. The temptation to seek sexual satisfaction outside of your marriage.

“You are a liar to claim that you never are or never will be tempted sexually.”  Prepare for it and equip for this battle.  Swindoll offers a strategy for fighting temptation particularly when traveling.  That is simply to take a photograph of your family with you everywhere you go.  Have it available to show others, sit by the TV remote in the hotel room, and remember your love for them–and that if you fail in this area you have to explain it to these people and it will irreversibly wound and damage them.  Swindoll says he also has to face a mother (his wife) with a bayonet who has told him what she would do to him with that bayonet if he ever…well you know what!

6. The temptation to underestimate the importance of cultivating your family’s spiritual appetite.

This too was a really, really helpful point that I will expand on later.

If any of this sounds helpful, then look up the message on iTunes, Oneplace.com, or track it down on his website.